11/06/2009

Well it has been too long since I wrote something. Actually I'm thinking not writing anything these last few months was probably a good thing haha. For those of you who know me, you know why. I'm going to get it together and start posting more stuff, good stuff. We are having family pics tomorrow morning so I gotta get some sleep!

2/17/2009

The Job

Alright I started working. It's a really good job as in it pays well and it has insurance and all that good stuff. Do I want to be working? No. This has been a tough week, leaving Ava and going back to an 8-5 schedule. Tough for Tyler too. The last 8 months sure went by fast, I was really enjoying staying home and being just a mom for a change. Okay I'll stop whining about it. On the bright side it makes me wake up before 9 haha.....and I actually have to be ready and out of the house by 7:30 instead of 11ish. I can do this, it's for my own benefit. I needed a job and I am grateful that I found one that's in Blackfoot. Believe me, I looked for 2 months and there was nothing. I know it was a blessing for me. It will make feel a little bit more independent.

Also things are settling down a little bit at my house, this is a good thing, I think. I'm just going to take it day by day and see how things go. The last few months I have had this horrible guilt, especially when it came to Ava. I just want to know for myself that I did my best, my best for Ava and for me and Tyler. If it doesn't work out then hopefully I will feel okay in the future knowing I did give it my best shot. Everything that has been going on still seems unreal. I didn't really ever think anything like this would happen. I mean you get married with all these exciting ideas of what your life is going to be like..... I just assumed everything would work itself out. But people don't change unless they want to for themselves, and that has been a hard reality.

I must say my family has been so amazing. I know they would help me and support me in anything I do. Life is hard, that is all there is to it, but it can be made easier by those around you. My dad told me a few times that marriage is hard no matter who you are with you, you will always have disagreements, they might be disagreements about other things, but there will always be disagreements.

2/05/2009

I don't really know what to write about this month. I would actually like to delete the last few months from my memory....wouldn't that be nice. I guess I should say I found a job. I'm really not looking forward to working full time again, but that's the way life goes. I keep telling myself to look on the bright side of all this but I haven't found one yet. I really can't say to many good, exciting things right now. January was not a good month, February will be better....lets all pray.

1/05/2009

The New, New Year

So it has been a long time since I have posted anything. There is a lot going on over here at my house most of it is not so good right now. But let me start with Washington, I had so much fun! The temple was beautiful and huge, me and Tyler's mom got lost at one point. I saw as much as was possible in 3 days. Of course I missed lots of things but we didn't care we were so tired after all the walking. It was a pretty city but I don't want to go back for a long time. There was so many trees and parks and people it was nice. I actually made it on my flights as well.....it wasn't that bad with medication and hymns. Christmas was also so much fun this year, I think it gets out of hand in my family but I still love it! We have 3 Christmases every year, 1 with my dad, 1 with my mom and Scott, and 1 with Ty's family. So yeah it obviously is going to get out of hand with 3 full Christmases. We are spoiled, there is no other way to say it. I tried to explain the real reason for Christmas to Ava, and all she could get was that is was Jesus's birthday so that's why we have presents. It will be easier next year I think. After Christmas things got a little rough but we are working through it and everything will be okay, I think. I'm grateful for a new year, hopefully it will be a fresh start. I'm trying to decide about school and some other things.....gosh I want to finish! It's a life goal, I always wanted to be able to tell my kids I completed college. So I will have to see how things work out. Happy New Year to everyone!